Everything is Sex, Except Sex, Which is Power
There have been two very interesting radical camps online lately. One is composed of people who need to discriminate against anyone with taboo kinks and fetishes, the other is made of indignant and bold kinksters who stand by the mantra "your kink is not my kink" (or perhaps this is more of a fandom mantra).
Regardless, I think both camps are going about this in completely incorrect ways. To frame acts within the bedroom as completely separated from broader society is naive. The notion that kinks have nothing to do with people's morality is easy to say, but it doesn't exactly hold water for me.
Don't misinterpret me—I am an adult with my own kinks. I just find the discussion around sex to be... Somewhat lacking. There's a hollowness to it. People seem afraid of linking sex as a recreational activity to our lives. This goes for both camps and not just one.
For those who are anti-kink and anti-sex, I do believe there is a desire to rail against the omnipresence of sex everywhere. Anyone who is not conventionally attractive and the face of a culture are only valuable if they're sexy. Fat girls are always reassured that they're fine the way they are because someone out there wants to fuck them.
For those who are pro-kink, they are defending their right to get freaky in the bedroom...and that is their right! I just think the defenses are falling apart as soon as they say that kinks say "nothing about you" or that they don't determine your morality. In the same breath, they'll talk about how some traumatic experience or a very unconventional sexual awakening has forever shaped their relationship with sex and kink.
If you ask me, sex will always be informed by our experiences and the culture we live in. It is quite unfortunate to me that people haven't really interrogated why power dynamics specifically are the basis of many of these kinks when we live in a global rape culture.
Fundamentally, I do think kink is neutral. It is just a fact about you. To say that it has nothing to do with who you are as a person is naive, though.