Dear Me
Hi, me. I don't know if you're still going to be "me" but I figured I would write this as if "I" would read it.
Regardless of who "you" are now... I wish I could tell you things were okay and perfect. Some things are good and some things are bad. You're still with your partner, and yes you have a partner, after 10 years somehow. Things aren't "normal" by any means, but you get by. You have an okay part time job and you're driving now. You put on a little weight, but it's okay. You learned not to be so self conscious about that despite what Mom says. You're writing a lot more and drawing a lot less. Drawing became less fun after a point. You're needle felting, badly, but you finally picked it up after not having the time or money to spend on it. You made a little rabbit out of brown felt, and lots of pink and red balls and hearts. You keep them on your desk to remind yourself that art is fun, and art is for you.
You never really did get over your two middle school friends, but you have a solid IRL and internet friend group, so you're doing okay. You don't ever feel like you "belong", but it's something you can feel safe in. You made a new friend recently, too, and you're optimistic about your relationship.
You still like that silly game series you played with your cousin, yeah, that one. It'll be a big part of your life for a long time. Eventually you stop caring so much, though, and it feels a little scary to not have a "thing" as your special interest. ...you will search a lot for a new "thing", but it'll be okay. You don't need a "thing".
You aren't really happy. Things are a bit weird because you aren't one person, but at least you aren't alone. You'll always have someone with you. ...Usually. There's a lot of conflict right now, but peace and resolution is possible. You learn to love all the parts of yourself even when it's hard to do that. Sometimes it's fun, and sometimes it's hard, but you have each other. You help each other survive a lot.
You still live with Mom and Dad, and they've gotten a bit worse than when you were younger. You have less patience for them but you're working hard to make yourself proud and not them.
You have a degree! You also finished a thesis on a topic you love! You graduated with honors! You have a graduate school interview tomorrow, too! You're really nervous about it along with all the other things stressing you out, but the school has a good admission rate and you think you're going to be okay. You think you should've done some things sooner, but you always think this. You have time to prepare.
You have a hard time accepting compliments and praise, but I'm proud of you. I'm really proud of you. Mom and Dad don't get what you're doing at all, so they don't know how to be proud of you, but I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you/me for getting this far and trying. Your advisor and friends and partner all support you very much. You are loved even if you forget it, sometimes, and even if sometimes there isn't room in the world for you.